Helping Kids Face Anxiety with Confidence
When I first released the book, Hello, Anxiety, someone commented, “I need a book called, Goodbye, Anxiety!”
And honestly? I get it.
Anxiety can feel like an avalanche of “what ifs.”
It’s messy and loud and hard to control. Of course we want it gone.
But here’s what I’ve learned, both as a therapist and a human: Trying to banish anxiety often gives it more power. Understanding it? That can help us move out of the avalanche and back to steady.
What Happens When We Say: Hello, Anxiety
Destiny, the main character in Hello, Anxiety, is clever, curious—and often stuck carrying a big, invisible book called Anxiety. It shows up during spelling tests or when she’s hanging out with friends. And it drops in like a ton of bricks when a big school project is announced.
She spirals. Her thoughts race. She tells her dad, “I can’t!”
But instead of trying to fix it or push it away, her dad takes the conversation in a direction that surprises Destiny.
“Anxiety makes everyday stuff seem so much worse,” he says. “I should know…It’s been in my backpack my whole life.”
He helps her see that the part of her brain sounding the alarm—the amygdala—isn’t bad. It just doesn’t have all the information. And sometimes, it gets really, really loud.
Illustrated by Simone Douglas, published by NCYI
That’s when Destiny learns the poem her Nana passed down:
I know this might be tough,
And I know I can get through it.
I can use my whole, wise brain.
I’ve got this. I can do it.
It’s not a magic fix. And it’s not toxic positivity…Just a little shift out of the spiral and back to steady.
Cooking Up Confidence: A Playful Way to Help Kids Handle Worry
That poem becomes the anchor for a strategy Destiny and her dad cook up together. With tools like:
- Deep breathing
- Breaking big tasks into small steps
- Power phrases
- A courage bracelet
- A little creative fun
They create a “confidence recipe” Destiny can turn to when her brain alarm flares. And now, you can do the same with the kids in your life. But before I share the free download, here are a few tips.
Anxiety Do’s & Don’ts for Parents, Teachers, and Counselors
✔️ Do:
- Stay curious: “I wonder if your brain alarm is extra loud right now.”
- Offer co-regulation first, problem-solving later.
- Share your own small moments of using your whole, wise brain.
❌ Try to avoid:
- Dismissing with “You’re fine!” or “There’s nothing to worry about.”
- Jumping straight to logic (“But you studied!”) when the alarm is still blaring.
- Removing all stress. Kids need practice at being a little uncomfortable and finding their way through.
Helping anxious kids isn’t about perfect scripts.
Sometimes they just need us to stay with them in the messiness so they can discover, just like Destiny did, I’ve got this. I can do it!
🧑🍳 Try the “Cooking Up Confidence” Activity (It’s Free!)
Over the years, I have built a whole bunch of resources to help kids learn how to say hello to big, overwhelming feelings like anxiety. As with everything I create, I promise not to give you fluff. Case in point: I used the very activity I’m sharing with you—for myself!
Use the “Cooking Up Confidence” activity to:
- Talk about what helps when worry shows up
- Build a go-to plan with kids, not just for them
- Normalize the idea that anxiety doesn’t have to be a stop sign
Experiment with different strategies and tweak the recipe for different situations! No one-size-fits all solutions here. Let’s get creative!
Want to use it with younger or less verbal kids? Keep the concepts, but use fewer words and make it more hands-on: draw pictures, act scenarios out with puppets, playfully practice the skills together (a lot!!), and set up a visual plan.
Anxiety doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you or your child.
It means the brain is doing its best to keep you safe…even if it gets a little overzealous sometimes.
When we respond with curiosity and compassion (and a few science-backed tools), we can teach kids how to move through the feeling and cook up some confidence along the way.
If you found this helpful, Hello, Anxiety and the companion Digital Resource Pack go even deeper, providing story, science, and ready-to-use printables.
Let’s keep helping kids learn how to use their whole, wise, amazing brains to face life’s challenges. After all…
